Larry D. Lauer

On an airplane to Washington this week I found myself reading an article on happiness. The author was discussing the work of several scholars who are spending their careers researching the topic.  Obviously,  this got me thinking: What have I learned about happiness?

Is happiness reaching that moment when you can say: “I have done what I set out to do. My work is finished.”  Or, is that not what it is at all?  And if not, just what is it?

The thing about teaching and writing is that you learn early on that you only clarify your thinking about something when you have to explain it to someone else. 

How do I go about analyzing this topic?  Do I merely list my life goals and how I will know when I achieve them?  Or is it more a matter of listing those times I felt really pleased about my day and trying to understand why? 

Quickly I was able to say I felt happy when I was leading an important project that I thought was making a difference. But I  also quickly had to admit that perfect conclusions never really happen. There always has been a kind of  “incompleteness” about completing anything. 

And so is it the completion of something important, or is it something in the process itself, that produces this state of “being happy?” 

Ultimately I decided that finding my best talents, engaging in activities that use them, and  putting myself around other people who share and appreciate them, is the  key to my achieving personal bliss. For me it therefore is a condition of “the process” more than the completion of a job, or even a career.

Family and best friends factor into this equation in very essential ways. It is being around compelling people professionally and socially who we find stimulating that in the final analysis brings us the greatest joy. Right relationships matter. Who we put ourselves around determines much of how happy we feel.  

I finally concluded that when we identify the professional colleagues, best friends, and family members who make us feel good and surround ourselves with them; and conversely, when we remove the  activities and people we don’t like from our lives; happiness magically appears.

Happiness therefore is a state of being that we can arrange, and not the grand ovation we get at the end of the road!